Second Chance
by dsolo
Summary: What's it like being the only female werewolf? Stephenie Meyer is the extremely talented creator of the Twilight series and all it's characters. I'm not worthy!


Second Chance

Leah sighed and thought, "I guess I didn't handle that very well." She regretted that she had let her bitterness about Sam color all her thoughts. It had made her an irritant to the rest of the pack, and now Jacob was doing the same thing. At least she was moping around over Sam, not a leechlover. Some of the things that Jacob had said had really hit home. Was she really a harpy?

She thought back over the previous year and how her life had changed. One day, she and Sam were in love and the next he was gone. She put up with his disappearances, bad moods and inadequate explanations because she loved him. She tried to be patient and wait for him to come back to her, and instead he IMPRINTED on her cousin, Emily. Why couldn't it be her? She didn't understand the whole imprinting thing. Good grief, Quil had imprinted on a toddler! What kind of sense was that?

None of this would have happened if those damn Cullens had stayed away. She would be marrying Sam, her father would be alive and she wouldn't be the only female werewolf in La Push. The only other females who even knew about it were family members or imprinted. She had no one to talk to about her feelings, except a bunch of teenage boys. Every time she tried to vent, they accused her of being a harpy. It wasn't fair. She thought that at least Jacob would have some sympathy. He'd been dumped just like her.

Leah stayed in human form so she could be alone with her thoughts. Had she really been that bad? She thought about some of the feelings that she had shared with the others with a flash of shame. Maybe she had been too hard on Sam. He hadn't planned to become a werewolf. The tribe had needed him to become one. If you thought about it, the Spirit that protected the tribe must be really powerful to call up Seth early and her, the first female werewolf. When she thought about it that way, it was kind of cool. She was a 21st century kind of equal opportunity werewolf.

Leah grinned at that thought. "I can't change what happened to me. I can only change how I feel about it." What if those newborns had come to Forks and the tribe was undefended? What if her family had been attacked and she wasn't able to defend them or herself?

She decided to quit focusing on everything she'd lost and start thinking about the benefits. She also needed to talk to Jacob and offer him a sympathetic shoulder. If she phased, she could find him, but everyone else would know what she planned and Sam would forbid it.

"Guess it's time to make peace with Sam." she thought.

--

"Emily, is Sam back yet?" Leah called out softly. "Not yet" Emily replied. "How are you, Leah? I haven't seen you in a long while. I miss you."

Leah looked at Emily's ruined face and took a deep breath. "Emily, I want to apologize to you for all the misery I caused. I know you didn't really try to steal Sam from me and I'm sorry that all the tension between the three of us caused him to do that. I'm tired of being petty and unhappy. I want to start with a clean slate with the two of you."

Emily's eyes filled with tears. "Oh, Leah! I've missed you so much. I have felt so guilty about how things turned out. I felt that I deserved these scars as penance for making you so unhappy, while I was so happy. It's a small price to pay to have Sam, but I never wanted to do this to you. It wasn't your fault. I told Sam that I couldn't be with him, because it would hurt you too much. It didn't matter if we had Imprinted. I knew that you really loved Sam. He was so frustrated because he loved both of us and it was tearing him apart. He just wanted to get away from me, but he phased too close to me. It was an accident. It was nobody's fault. After that, I couldn't send him away. The remorse was crippling him. He wouldn't have been any good to either of us and I knew that there must be some danger coming for the tribe or he wouldn't have changed."

Leah's face reddened in embarrassment. She had never considered why Sam had changed or thought about the tribe's needs. She had only thought about her own personal loss. It could just have easily been her with the ruined face, as many times as she had fought with Sam after it first happened. She'd had no idea what was going on with him, but even once she knew she still hadn't forgiven him, not even with a battle looming. What was she thinking? Was her heartbreak more important than the whole tribe?

"Emily, I'm so sorry," she whispered.

Emily came forward and embraced her. "Hush, now. At least we can finally talk about it." She looked at Leah curiously, "Has something happened?"

Leah looked down and whispered, "Jacob is driving everyone nuts and I confronted him. He had quite a bit to say along the lines of the pot calling the kettle black. At first I was resentful, but then I really started to think about what he was saying. I realized how selfish I was being. That's why I wanted to talk to Sam. I'd like to try to talk to Jacob, if Sam will let me. Maybe once he realizes that I'm not whining, he'll actually listen to me." She gave a sad, half smile, "At least I have an idea of what he's going through."

Emily smiled warmly, "I think that's a wonderful idea. Jacob really needs a shoulder right now, not a punch in the arm from one of his friends. I love all the boys, but the testosterone level gets to be a bit too strong sometimes."

"Tell me about it," Leah muttered.

Emily laughed. "I hadn't thought about how much worse it must be for you. I guess nobody has." Her face grew solemn, "I'm sorry I laughed. It probably doesn't seem funny to you. Everyone feels sorry for Sam having to go through his wolf changes alone, but at least the elders knew what to tell him, and he was able to help the rest. I don't think anyone's really thought about what this is doing to you. Most of the stories only refer to the women as First Wife and Third Wife, even when they are admiring their bravery."

Leah said, " Yeah, I guess the elders never thought they'd have to deal with GRRRLpower."

She raised her voice to a loud growl on the last word and they both laughed.

Leah grew quiet again. "Emily, do you think that there will be other female werewolves? A change like this must mean that something really bad is threatening the tribe. After the battle, some of the other kind showed up and they were pretty scary. They didn't see us, and the Cullens didn't tell them anything, but what if they decide to come back. They look like they would be a lot harder to fight than the newborns."

Emily shook her head. "I don't know. I think Sam is worrying about the same thing. That's why this is a really bad time for Jacob to be leaving us."

Both women grew quiet at the sound of the door opening. "Emily?" Sam's voice called out.

Leah stiffened momentarily, then made herself relax, "Hi Sam," she said quietly.

Sam looked surprised to see her, but replied to her greeting.

"Did you find Jacob?"

"He just needs some time alone. He'll be back."

"Sam, I'd like to go after him and talk to him. I've been doing a lot of thinking about my behavior this past year and I've realized a few hard truths."

"Not yet, Leah. If he doesn't come back soon, then I'll reconsider. I don't think he'll leave Billy to fend for himself for that long."

Leah started. She'd forgotten about Billy. "Well, maybe I'll go and check on Billy then. This has got to be tearing him up."

Sam smiled, "That would be nice. I have the guys checking on him, but he might need someone with a gentler touch. And I know that you're a better cook."

Leah was surprised to find herself smiling back without pain. "I'll go check on him now then. Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help."

Sam looked at her thoughtfully, "Leah, I want you to know that I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I never wanted that to happen. If there was any way that I could go back and spare you that pain, I would. I..."

Leah interrupted, "Sam, it wasn't your fault. It was a sacrifice that was required of us to keep the tribe safe. I understand that now. I promise that I'm not going to make the pack suffer anymore because of it."

Sam stared at her with such hope and gratitude on his face that Leah felt even more ashamed.

"I'll see both of you later. If you need me, check at Billy's place. I think I'll stay there for awhile. He was really good to all of us after we phased and Dad died. I owe him."

Jacob approached his home cautiously. It smelled different, floral? What the heck had been going on? The porch looked newly swept and he could smell stew. Some of the wives must be checking on Billy. He went inside and got the shock of his life when he saw Leah standing at the stove stirring a big pot of stew. She looked up and smiled at him, "Hi Jake, you're just in time for lunch. I'll bet you're hungry."

"Leah?"

"Yes, Jake?"

"Ummm,... what are you doing?"

"Making stew."

"I mean, what are you doing here?

"Oh, I've been taking care of Billy while you were gone. I figured I owed him after all the help he gave our family after my Dad died."

"Oh, well... thanks."

"You're welcome. Believe me, I know what you're going through. At least you were considerate enough to leave instead of inflicting yourself on everyone like I did."

"Uh, Leah?"

"Yes?"

"Are you ok? You seem ...different.."

Leah sighed, "Boy, I must have really been a pain in the ... Actually, you're to blame or maybe I should say responsible for my transformation. Once I experienced how much your distress was affecting the pack and after your comments before you left, I had to do a lot of self examination. I wasn't too happy with what I found. I went to Emily and apologized, then Sam and I had a talk. I decided to turn over a new leaf. Besides, if I'm going to be the first,"she paused briefly, "or only female werewolf, I better be a good example for my gender." She laughed softly.

Jacob flushed, "I'm sorry I was so mean. I should have realized that you, of all people, would understand what I was going through."

Leah smiled, "I need a good swift kick in the backside and you gave it to me. Now, if you keep moping around, it will be my turn. And don't think I won't do it. Can you go wake up Billy from his nap and tell him that lunch is ready? Thanks."

Jacob went into Billy's room and shook him gently. "Dad, I'm back. I'm sorry if I worried you. Leah said to tell you that lunch is ready."

Billy smiled up at Jacob. "I knew you'd come to your senses sooner or later. Now, help me into my wheelchair so I can get some of that delicious stew I smell."

"Uh, Dad, ... exactly how long has Leah been here?"

"She came by a few hours after you left. She's been here ever since, except when she's on patrol or goes to check on her mom. She's really got the place sparkling and she's an excellent cook."

"Where does she sleep?"

"In Rachel's old room. Where else? Did you think I'd give her your room? I knew you'd be back."

"Oh. OK. I just wondered is all. Let's go have lunch."

Jacob leaned back in his chair and looked at Leah in appreciation. "Wow, that was great. Much better than anything I ever concocted over there. How did you do it?"

Leah laughed, "Don't forget that most girls are brought up expecting to cook for a husband. My mother put me in front of the stove as soon as I was tall enough to turn on the burners. Stew is easy and it's Sam's favorite, so I became an expert in it." A brief spasm of pain crossed her face at the memory, but was quickly suppressed. "I'm glad you liked it. I thought there would be enough for tomorrow, since stew is always better the second day, but I wasn't counting on feeding a hungry werewolf."

Billy laughed, "No, just an old man without much of an appetite." He turned to Jacob, "Leah's been spending a lot of time trying out diabetic recipes to tempt me. I haven't had much of an appetite lately."

Jacob gave Billy a guilty look. "I'm sorry, Dad. I know this past couple of years has been hard on you. I'll try to be here for you more."

Billy gave Jacob a thoughtful look. "Son, you've had a lot on your mind. Don't worry about me. Lack of exercise is the main reason for my lack of appetite. Now, why don't you do the dishes since Leah cooked and I'll go watch the game."

Leah laughed, "I don't mind doing the dishes. Tell you what, I'll wash, you dry."

Jacob smiled, "Deal."

Leah handed Jacob the wet pot and said, "That's the last of them. I guess I better get my things and head for home, unless you'd like me to stay here while you check in with Sam? I can stay here anytime you have patrol, if you like. Billy's been really good to me."

Jacob stared at Leah, then belatedly realized that he was being rude. "Who are you and what have you done with Leah?" he thought. Out loud he said, "Thanks, but I was phased until I was almost home, so Sam already knows I'm back. He told me to stay with Billy tonight, but I have early morning patrol. If you really want to stay with Billy while I'm on patrol, you may as well stay here tonight and you can go home after I get back. When's your next patrol?"

"Sam usually has Seth and I on daytime patrols. I think it's because he thinks it's less dangerous for us, since we're smaller. He also has us stick pretty close to town. He tells us it's because he's keeping the tribe safe, but that's really just to help us save face."

Jacob protested, "But Leah, think about it. You're the last line of defense. If anyone slips by us, Sam is counting on you and Seth to handle it until we arrive. He's placing the tribe's safety in your hands."

Leah smiled at him. "Thanks, Jake. That's a nice thing to say, even if it isn't true. At least Seth is still growing. I'll always be a pint size werewolf."

Jacob smiled and said, "The best things come in small packages." "Holy crap," he thought, "What am I saying? I sound like I'm flirting!"

Leah laughed, "Such a gentleman, Jacob Black. Trying to save a lady's honor. Don't bother, I'm no lady, I'm a GRRRRRRL!"

Jacob and Leah both started laughing until tears ran down their cheeks.

"How long have you been wanting to use that one?", Jacob asked.

Leah giggled, "I just thought of it the other day. I already used it on Emily. Maybe I'll get a teeshirt that says GRRRRL POWER! I guess I better make it a tank top, easier to carry. What do you think of hot pink with lime green letters?"

Jacob grimaced, "Sounds disgusting. You know, I guess I never thought about you having to carry more clothes than us. Must be tough?"

Leah smiled at him, "Well, a bikini would be small enough, but a little obvious in the middle of winter. Since I'm mostly patrolling in town, I have staches of clothes in various places. And unlike the rest of you goofs, I remember to take off my shoes."

Jacob laughed again. "Yea, Billy sure got pissed off at me about the shoes. I don't have any left right now. Good thing my feet are so tough."

Leah teased, "Tough feet are ok for the Big Bad Wolf, but I don't want to ruin my pedicure by running around barefoot."

Jacob looked confused, "Pediwhat?"

Leah held out one small foot to show off her pink nailpolish. "It's like a manicure, but for your feet. Running around town every day on patrol leaves me a little footsore after I phase back."

Jacob grinned at her, "Really? I love running as a wolf. It makes me feel free."

Leah grinned back, "Maybe if I got to run somewhere except dirt roads, I'd feel the same way, but Sam won't let me go off on my own or with just Seth, so I'm stuck."

Jacob blurted out, "You can go with me, if it's ok with Sam." "I'm doing it again," he thought, "What's wrong with me? But, she is acting nicer, and she needs a friend."

Leah smiled shyly, "Are you sure? I know I haven't exactly been your favorite person, but I'd like another chance to be your friend."

Jacob looked down at her and smiled, "I think both of us deserve a second chance."


End file.
